My dear friend Christina. Or, Please pray.

I want to share with you my dear friend Christina Ahmann's story, and ask all of you who may read this blog (whoever you are) to please lift her up in prayer.

During the four years I spent at Westmont College, Christina was one of my best friends. We met day one of freshman year (along with Erin, Kaitee, and Delight), and for the rest of our college careers, the 5 of us girls were inseparable. After graduating from Westmont, Christina moved up to Portland where she started a massage therapy business, and she's been there happily for the past 3 years.
(Erin, Kerri, Kaitee, Christina, and Delight above the Westmont campus)

Several weeks ago, Christina went to the doctor for some weird symptoms, including headaches and double vision. Her weird symptoms concerned the doctor, who told her to get an MRI, and they discovered that Christina has a very large tumor (about 6cm across) on the back right part of her brain. The doctors were pretty amazed that her symptoms weren't much worse, based on the size of the tumor, but they said that due to the size, she's at a high risk for seizures, and there's no way to tell whether or not it's cancerous until they remove it.

Christina is scheduled to have brain surgery on Friday, Sept. 21. It will be a two part process: today (Thursday) she'll have an angiogram to slow the blood flow from the artery that is feeding directly into the tumor, and then the procedure to cauterize the blood vessels in the tumor (2 to 3 hours). This will lessen the risk of bleeding out because these kind of tumors tend to be pretty vascular. She will be under general anesthetic and then will be in the intensive care unit through the night because they are concerned about brain swelling. She will then be taken into surgery at around 7:30 a.m., Friday morning to remove the tumor. That surgery should take 5-6 hours. She will then be moved back to intensive care. The rest of the treatment will depend on what they find.

It has been so amazing to witness Christina's incredible faith as she's faced with this great unknown. Here are some of her thoughts, in her own words:

So yes, this is scary and sudden and a big deal, but really I have not felt so absolutely peaceful in my entire life. I'm not overcome with fear, I'm not worried about all the awful possibilities and even the fact that my life may now be drastically shorter. God is sovereign and He has known about this tumor since day one. This is not a surprise to Him... and that is so comforting to me. Whatever direction my life takes, I only want to do it walking with the Lord. Anything else is so insignificant to me. God has been doing big stuff in me this summer letting me learn what it means to be desperately dependent on the Lord, just me and Him with no one/nothing else being my support. This summer I could barely get through a worship set without tears. I had know idea what that was about, but I could sense Him drawing so close. I know now why is was so important for me to be at such an intimate place with the Lord. I wouldn't survive this without that... emotionally, spiritually, physically... Ah but He is so faithful and knew what He needed to do to prepare me for this.

I share all this with you, my blogtastic friends, so that you may be encouraged and inspired by Christina's unwavering faith in the face of this circumstance, and so that God may be glorified. I also share this with you to beg for your prayers. Please please pray for Christina, especially now as she's in the hospital undergoing these procedures. Here's the Bible verse God gave to Christina's mom this morning:

We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many. 2 Corinthians 1:8-11

Christina and her momma

Here are more thoughts from Christina, in her own words...
(it's long, but amazing, and well worth a read)

Dear Friends,

How can I thank you enough for your prayers! My heart is overwhelmed with the amount of support my family and I have received this past week. Phil's sermon this past Sunday on unity in Christ has truly become my reality as people from all over the world--from Portland to Port Angeles, to countries I could hardly pick out on a map--(embarrassing as that is!) have contacted me to tell me they are praying for me. I am completely floored. And I just want to say thank you. Your prayers are what has made this experience one of unnatural joy, peace, and absolute rest in His sovereignty. Your prayers have already produced opportunities for amazing conversations with surgeons, nurses, people in waiting rooms, etc, they've allowed details to fall into place effortlessly. They've allowed me to feel healthy and full of energy this week as I spend time with family and friends... which has been so incredibly sweet. Most of all, your prayers have surrounded our house in a protective bubble... so real and so tangible, we like to call it the house of peace. Welcome to the house of peace. I wish I could have you all over to experience it... maybe we could play a board game? Cranium anyone? Heh heh.. sorry;)

I want so badly to share my heart with you all, but I easily convince myself that I am inarticulate, insignificant, and there are a billion stories more important than mine. I am learning that that is a lie... and the devil would like nothing better than to find some way to shut me down and waste this God-ordained journey. So here I am trying to be obedient, sharing my heart, my prayers, my hopes and fears with you. May your heart be drawn closer to God. That is my only prayer. And THAT makes all this worth it.

This is an excerpt from my journal last night – it’s an unrefined prayer... raw, but most definitely straight from my heart..

Oh Lord,
I love you with all my HEART, SOUL, and STRENGTH... Never have I experienced such desperate dependence on you. Never have I been in a more difficult place. But Never have I felt so at peace. Never have I experienced such richness in worshp, in conversations with those around me.... and in the intimacy between you and me, that cradles my head to your heart. Thank you Lord for all these "nevers"... I wouldn't trade them and I never want to go back!

Heavenly Father I give you full control of this situation... because I KNOW it is ordained by you... and I know my own personal strength would have failed me the moment I caught a glimpse of that crazy huge tumor up on that screen! Oh Lord, I need you. And I love to need you!

One of your blessings that blows me away every day is how you've chosen to surround me with SO MANY amazing people! 1) who are pouring themselves out physically and emotionally to the max but 2) also have a total reliance on you which gives them supernatural strength to minister to me! How blessed am I??? Thank you for pouring faith, peace and joy into my parents and family, the Hansen's, Kim, my Aunties, Linsey... the elders, my loving friends at Solid Rock and IBC and beyond. Lord thank you for taking care of those I love. That is my biggest thank you, and that brings tears to my eyes. Thank you for speaking through people in their phone calls, cards, emails, and scriptures. They encourage me and reflect you. I know you speak through them and it penetrates deeply into my heart... what a gift!

My number one prayer Lord, remains the same. I pray that this situation touches all who encounter it for your glory. I have no idea why the story has spread so far and wide for little old me... but to become shy and timid about that would almost be disobedience and not trusting your sovereignty. I trust Lord that this happened to me for a reason, and it happened at this time for a reason--and so many people are involved in this for a reason! I ask, Lord, for boldness in conversation with everyone I encounter from family and friends, to doctors, nurses, receptionists. I pray that I never have to search for words, but you pour them from my lips saying exactly what you need to say to people to touch them in their own lives. I pray that my body and presence can be a beacon of your light that radically changes people as only you can do. No matter the outcome after the surgery Lord... I pray this never changes. Somehow even if I am severely altered or hurting physically, I pray your JOY and PEACE never leave me. Nothing of my own strength can accomplish that Lord..... and so here I am again on my knees desperately dependent on you.

If something happens Lord that takes me from this earth, I pray for that same that same peace and joy to surround and never leave my family and friends. As Dan wrote me tonight... when it comes down to it, healing is truly the worst option, because the other option is paradise. Haha. Awesome - Oh Lord how true! I hope for no dreams that are my own creation because they are empty without you. My only idea of a happy and fulfilling life is one spent walking side by side with you on this WILD ADVENTURE! Bring on the adventure Lord!!

You have created me "for such a time as this.".. and I accept it and embrace it only in your strength.

I pray for protection from fear, self-awareness, pride, and believing any lies that the enemy will undoubtedly throw at me. I am yours, Lord. I am in the protection of your arms surrounded by angels. There's nowhere else I'd rather be. My heart is smiling! I love you!"

Oh sweet family of believers.... thank you for surrounding me.
Let me share a scripture that has been particularly encouraging to me...

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."
Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.
If you make the Most High your dwelling - even the Lord who is my refuge - then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent."

(this is where I like to exchange "he" for "she"... because it's fun:)

"Because she loves me," says the Lord,"I will rescue her; I will protect her, for she acknowledges my name. She will call upon me, and I will answer her; I will be with her in trouble, I will deliver her and honor her. With long life will I satisfy her and show her my salvation"

(and then I like to exchange "she" for "you" and say it again because it's downright awesome and gives me chills...:)

"Because you love me, says the Lord,
I will rescue you;
I will protect you, for you acknowledge my name.
You will call upon me, and I will answer you;
I will be with you in trouble,
I will deliver you and honor you.
With long life will I satisfy you
and show you my salvation."

Psalm 91

Thank you Jesus for your promises.

Big Hugs and Shiny Bald Heads,
Christina