Once. Or, how to make an album for the ears and eyes.

The other day I went to see a movie called Once (at the recommendation of Darrin Jones) that turned out to be really wonderful; I'd even venture to say it's shaping up to be one of my favorite films. It's a unique approach to film: instead of creating a plot and then layering on music to inject emotion, the entire movie is actually born out of the music. In fact, it's more a "visual album" than a movie; it's like curling up to listen to your favorite album and watching it unfold beautifully before your eyes.

The story is a snapshot into the life of an Irish musician who meets a girl while playing his music on the streets of Dublin, and for a few days they experiment in making music together and in the process, significantly impact each other's lives. Essentially, it's a love story, but not a conventional one: the bond that develops out of their creative partnership is so much deeper and more significant than a passion-filled romantic love. It's a love marked with respect, integrity, and self-control, with a deeper purpose than gratification of desires.

The story is fictional, but the music is straight from real life. The male and female leads (Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova) aren't professional actors, but musicians (Hansard is of the band The Frames, and both record independently; Irglova is to Hansard as Lisa Hannigan is to Damien Rice). This, along with the simple but beautiful cinematography, gives the film a powerful sense of authenticity. I love how effectively song is used as dialogue; one song portrays just as much emotion and movement to the story as ten pages of dialogue would.

So, to state the obvious, I loved this film! I'm certainly no movie critic, but I'm highly recommending it. It's not a grand film, it's simple, but it's incredibly powerful in it's simplicity. See (and hear) it.

Thankful. Or, How to celebrate an American holiday in France.

I walked down the street on my way to the market early Thursday morning feeling extremely festive and thankful, and was a bit surprised when all around me were French people bustling about, on their way to work and school, as if it were just a normal Thursday, and not at all an occasion to be full of holiday cheer. I had an inexplicable urge to cheerfully announce to each person I passed "It's Thanksgiving!" For some reason, the complete lack of Thanksgiving spirit was making me feel exceedingly more Thanksgiving-y than I normally would. I reached the Cours Mirabeau and discovered that, coincidentally, the Christmas lights, which the Cours had been completely covered with weeks before but had yet to be turned on, had all been illuminated that morning, giving the whole street a cheery glow. I knew that the French were completely ignorant that it was an American holiday that day (and if they had known, most wouldn't have cared), but it made me feel that, even subconciously, the French knew it was a day to be festive.

That night I hosted a Thanksgiving celebration at my home. Hilary, Andrea, and I invited friends from all our different social spheres to share a Thanksgiving meal with us. We ended up with 40 people at our apartment, and yet still managed to have a sit down meal with a place for everyone (ok, so we had to bring in extra tables and chairs and pile all the living room furniture in our bedrooms, but we pulled it off). It was the first time I've ever done a Thanksgiving meal myself, so I was really glad to have Pat and Lindsey also slaving away in my kitchen all day. We managed to have all the elements of a traditional Thanksgiving meal, as well as some delicious international dishes (ever had paella and sushi for Thanksgiving??). Less than half our guests were American; the rest were from France, Spain, England, Scotland, Germany, Switzerland, Australia, New Zealand, and a couple more I'm forgetting right now, and many had never experienced Thanksgiving before. There were so many different groups of people, I wondered how everyone would mesh, but by the end of the night, there were loads of connections formed and new friendships made. It truly felt like one big family gathered together. Several people told me how happy they were to be so welcomed and included. This is Thanksgiving.

One of my favorite parts of Thanksgiving was asking people all night long what they were thankful for. So here's my own (slightly belated) Thankful in 2007 list:
**I'm thankful for the internet. Ok, I'm not acutally thankful for the internet, but it allows me to stay in touch with people I dearly love who are far away. And I am thankful that through the internet and a couple webcams, I was able to see and talk to my whole family (including Nana, Grandpa, and Vogel fam) on T-day. I'm very thankful for my amazing family.
**I'm thankful for my wonderful apartment that I can use to welcome many people, and for my wonderful roommates that make it home.
**I'm thankful to be doing a job that I love, that I am passionate about, that fits me well, and that is furthering God's Kingdom.
**I'm thankful that Ikea makes a product that tastes remarkably like cranberry sauce.
**I'm thankful that God blew me away with His extraordinary provision this year, and for the confidence that He will continue to do so next year and all the years of my life.

Playing catch-up on the blog. Or, the Catch-22 of traveling and blogging.

I’ve been traveling like a crazy nomad lately (I’ve been in 5 different countries in the last month!), which means that I have loads of stuff to blog about, and I’ve had absolutely no time in which to do so! If only I were traveling less and had more time to blog... but then, I'd have nothing to actually blog about! I guess I’m going to have to work backwards or something to get my blog caught up with the present. Not to mention the fact that 2 weeks in the Netherlands for Field Orientation, plus the visit of a dear friend from California, plus a vacation traveling all over Ireland, plus a conference in Paris have provided so many stories, thoughts, and ideas that I need to get them down in writing before they’re lost forever in the depths of my long term memory. But before I launch myself into retelling my travel tales, let me share what’s going on in Aix right now.

1. It’s snowing!!!!! I’m not even kidding people. It is SNOWING in the south of France in the middle of November! And I’m not even talking about a little bit of slushy rain that melts as soon as it hits the ground. I’m talking big fat white flakes that stick to the ground and are perfect for making snowballs. I looked out my window yesterday afternoon and all I saw was a flurry of white. What is going on here?? The thing that baffles me the most is that nobody else seems at all baffled by this. Ok, I know I’m a southern California girl who doesn’t really know how to deal with snow, but I’m thinking that massive amounts of snow in the south of France in November should surprise anybody! Am I right? But everyone’s wandering around like this is perfectly normal. I guess I better buy some snow gear or something.

2. I got a kitten!!! Perhaps you remember hearing the story of the kittens that were born on our balcony on my birthday? Back at the beginning of September, our next-door neighbors’ cat was looking for a cozy, safe place to give birth to her 6 kittens, and decided that our balcony was the ideal location. The neighbors discovered this, brought the kittens back to their own apartment, but Mama Kitty courageously returned her kitties one-by-one to our balcony by leaping from her 5th floor balcony to ours with a kitten in her mouth. So when the kitties were old enough to leave their mama at the end of October, I decided to adopt one. I admit I surprised myself when I decided to get a cat, as I’ve always been an ardent dog person. But a dog requires a bit more commitment and effort than I can provide right now. I really wanted a pet, and I felt a special connection with the kittens that were born on my balcony on my birthday, so now here I am, a cat owner. And as it turns out, I love my kitten! His name is Fitz (short for Fitzwilliam, as in Fitzwilliam Darcy, as in the Jane Austen character…) and he is tiny and black and adorable. He’s the ideal cat for our extremely extroverted apartment, because he’s very social, loves to cuddle, and loves new people. And for some reason, he loves to perch on my shoulder like a little bird. While I’m at my desk working on the computer, he’ll sit on my shoulder for hours and stare at the screen. (I thought this was extremely bizarre behavior until I stumbled upon Jenelle’s blog entry).

3. I’ve got loads of good stuff going on right now with my job at iccp, so I’ll just give you one highlight—youth group! Adam and Tasha and I have been planning all kinds of fun activities lately. On Halloween we took our middle schoolers bowling—in full Halloween costumes of course. Halloween is a pretty new thing in France, so we attracted a lot of attention walking down the Cours Mirabeau in crazy costumes and wigs.

The next week (during school vacation) we took the youth group to the OK Corral, a “western” themed amusement park not far from Aix. A western amusement park, complete with cowboys and Native Americans, in the south of France, is completely hilarious. We had a hilariously good time. (Check out pictures of both of these events here.)

Ok, travel stories coming very very soon. And please hold me accountable, friends. If it’s been too long without a new story, feel free to get on my case.

Bye bye Aix, hello Holland. Or, travel for work makes you cool and important.

Hey there friends! I'm off to Holland for 2 weeks for Field Orientation with Christian Associates. So I'll be in Amsterdam for one week and then The Hague for another, learning about what God is doing in Europe, how to share His message of love in a postmodern European culture, and how to do what I do more effectively. Yay, fun stuff! I'm a little bit sad to leave Aix right now, there is so much going on right now. But I love that I get to go to such cool places for work. It's like a business trip! Doesn't that make me seem so cool and important? I always thought "business trips" are cool and important-seeming. I'm also excited to hang out with Teal, Adam, and Tasha for 2 weeks, along with many other super-cool CA people. (I believe I've told you how super-cool my fellow church planters are?) Good times are sure to be had. My virtual-self will miss all your virtual-selves for the next 2 weeks, but you can look forward to lots of good Netherlands-y stories upon my return to Aix. Loves!

one last christina update

if you're interested, you can get all info and updates about christina's situation here.

Christina update

Sorry for the delay... I've been waiting for an update and it just came! I'll cut and paste some the important stuff from the email written by Christina's mom:


Our dear Christina came out of her very long surgery, in very fine condition. My greatest hope was that Christina would have no impairments--mental or physical. She was smiling and talking and moving her arms and legs 30 minutes after surgery. By the time I got to see her in ICU she was still very peaceful and smiling.

The doctor got most of the tumor out--the first biopsy determined malignancy. The next biopsy will tell us what kind of cancer and how aggressive it is. There is nothing to be done until we have more information from the pathology report (probably Tuesday), and then the next step will be the research to find the best treatment for whatever she's got going on in her head.

He described the surgery and I am amazed at what God seems to have done during that time. Once they saw Christina's tumor and realized it would not be the easy to remove meningioma, he planned on just removing a small section for biopsy. He did that and then stood there for awhile. He then decided to remove one more small piece that seemed safe to get at. He then stood there for awhile more and decided after studying the screen (of the fancy piece of equipment to show the exact location of the tumor and his tool) he decided to remove another piece. He continued in this manner until it was nearly all gone. It seems he did more than he intended but with all the skill necessary to do no damage to any good brain cells. I am so thankful to God for being so present, so powerful, and so merciful in this whole procedure. Having so much of that tumor gone will relieve some of Christina's troublesome headaches and maybe even help her vision to get back to normal.

Christina has asked for prayer that her pain medication does not affect her very sensitive intestinal tract. She is quite worried about that. (She said to put that one out there for much prayer).

Just saw Christina today (Sunday) and she is doing so well! She got out of bed, went outside and has all her tubes and iv's and stuff removed! God is so good. She should be able to come home Monday or Tuesday!


Thank you so much for all of your prayers, and please keep praying for Christina as the severity of the cancer is determined and treatment begins. It's so cool to see the body of Christ all over the world come together to cover our sister in prayer.

My dear friend Christina. Or, Please pray.

I want to share with you my dear friend Christina Ahmann's story, and ask all of you who may read this blog (whoever you are) to please lift her up in prayer.

During the four years I spent at Westmont College, Christina was one of my best friends. We met day one of freshman year (along with Erin, Kaitee, and Delight), and for the rest of our college careers, the 5 of us girls were inseparable. After graduating from Westmont, Christina moved up to Portland where she started a massage therapy business, and she's been there happily for the past 3 years.
(Erin, Kerri, Kaitee, Christina, and Delight above the Westmont campus)

Several weeks ago, Christina went to the doctor for some weird symptoms, including headaches and double vision. Her weird symptoms concerned the doctor, who told her to get an MRI, and they discovered that Christina has a very large tumor (about 6cm across) on the back right part of her brain. The doctors were pretty amazed that her symptoms weren't much worse, based on the size of the tumor, but they said that due to the size, she's at a high risk for seizures, and there's no way to tell whether or not it's cancerous until they remove it.

Christina is scheduled to have brain surgery on Friday, Sept. 21. It will be a two part process: today (Thursday) she'll have an angiogram to slow the blood flow from the artery that is feeding directly into the tumor, and then the procedure to cauterize the blood vessels in the tumor (2 to 3 hours). This will lessen the risk of bleeding out because these kind of tumors tend to be pretty vascular. She will be under general anesthetic and then will be in the intensive care unit through the night because they are concerned about brain swelling. She will then be taken into surgery at around 7:30 a.m., Friday morning to remove the tumor. That surgery should take 5-6 hours. She will then be moved back to intensive care. The rest of the treatment will depend on what they find.

It has been so amazing to witness Christina's incredible faith as she's faced with this great unknown. Here are some of her thoughts, in her own words:

So yes, this is scary and sudden and a big deal, but really I have not felt so absolutely peaceful in my entire life. I'm not overcome with fear, I'm not worried about all the awful possibilities and even the fact that my life may now be drastically shorter. God is sovereign and He has known about this tumor since day one. This is not a surprise to Him... and that is so comforting to me. Whatever direction my life takes, I only want to do it walking with the Lord. Anything else is so insignificant to me. God has been doing big stuff in me this summer letting me learn what it means to be desperately dependent on the Lord, just me and Him with no one/nothing else being my support. This summer I could barely get through a worship set without tears. I had know idea what that was about, but I could sense Him drawing so close. I know now why is was so important for me to be at such an intimate place with the Lord. I wouldn't survive this without that... emotionally, spiritually, physically... Ah but He is so faithful and knew what He needed to do to prepare me for this.

I share all this with you, my blogtastic friends, so that you may be encouraged and inspired by Christina's unwavering faith in the face of this circumstance, and so that God may be glorified. I also share this with you to beg for your prayers. Please please pray for Christina, especially now as she's in the hospital undergoing these procedures. Here's the Bible verse God gave to Christina's mom this morning:

We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many. 2 Corinthians 1:8-11

Christina and her momma

Here are more thoughts from Christina, in her own words...
(it's long, but amazing, and well worth a read)

Dear Friends,

How can I thank you enough for your prayers! My heart is overwhelmed with the amount of support my family and I have received this past week. Phil's sermon this past Sunday on unity in Christ has truly become my reality as people from all over the world--from Portland to Port Angeles, to countries I could hardly pick out on a map--(embarrassing as that is!) have contacted me to tell me they are praying for me. I am completely floored. And I just want to say thank you. Your prayers are what has made this experience one of unnatural joy, peace, and absolute rest in His sovereignty. Your prayers have already produced opportunities for amazing conversations with surgeons, nurses, people in waiting rooms, etc, they've allowed details to fall into place effortlessly. They've allowed me to feel healthy and full of energy this week as I spend time with family and friends... which has been so incredibly sweet. Most of all, your prayers have surrounded our house in a protective bubble... so real and so tangible, we like to call it the house of peace. Welcome to the house of peace. I wish I could have you all over to experience it... maybe we could play a board game? Cranium anyone? Heh heh.. sorry;)

I want so badly to share my heart with you all, but I easily convince myself that I am inarticulate, insignificant, and there are a billion stories more important than mine. I am learning that that is a lie... and the devil would like nothing better than to find some way to shut me down and waste this God-ordained journey. So here I am trying to be obedient, sharing my heart, my prayers, my hopes and fears with you. May your heart be drawn closer to God. That is my only prayer. And THAT makes all this worth it.

This is an excerpt from my journal last night – it’s an unrefined prayer... raw, but most definitely straight from my heart..

Oh Lord,
I love you with all my HEART, SOUL, and STRENGTH... Never have I experienced such desperate dependence on you. Never have I been in a more difficult place. But Never have I felt so at peace. Never have I experienced such richness in worshp, in conversations with those around me.... and in the intimacy between you and me, that cradles my head to your heart. Thank you Lord for all these "nevers"... I wouldn't trade them and I never want to go back!

Heavenly Father I give you full control of this situation... because I KNOW it is ordained by you... and I know my own personal strength would have failed me the moment I caught a glimpse of that crazy huge tumor up on that screen! Oh Lord, I need you. And I love to need you!

One of your blessings that blows me away every day is how you've chosen to surround me with SO MANY amazing people! 1) who are pouring themselves out physically and emotionally to the max but 2) also have a total reliance on you which gives them supernatural strength to minister to me! How blessed am I??? Thank you for pouring faith, peace and joy into my parents and family, the Hansen's, Kim, my Aunties, Linsey... the elders, my loving friends at Solid Rock and IBC and beyond. Lord thank you for taking care of those I love. That is my biggest thank you, and that brings tears to my eyes. Thank you for speaking through people in their phone calls, cards, emails, and scriptures. They encourage me and reflect you. I know you speak through them and it penetrates deeply into my heart... what a gift!

My number one prayer Lord, remains the same. I pray that this situation touches all who encounter it for your glory. I have no idea why the story has spread so far and wide for little old me... but to become shy and timid about that would almost be disobedience and not trusting your sovereignty. I trust Lord that this happened to me for a reason, and it happened at this time for a reason--and so many people are involved in this for a reason! I ask, Lord, for boldness in conversation with everyone I encounter from family and friends, to doctors, nurses, receptionists. I pray that I never have to search for words, but you pour them from my lips saying exactly what you need to say to people to touch them in their own lives. I pray that my body and presence can be a beacon of your light that radically changes people as only you can do. No matter the outcome after the surgery Lord... I pray this never changes. Somehow even if I am severely altered or hurting physically, I pray your JOY and PEACE never leave me. Nothing of my own strength can accomplish that Lord..... and so here I am again on my knees desperately dependent on you.

If something happens Lord that takes me from this earth, I pray for that same that same peace and joy to surround and never leave my family and friends. As Dan wrote me tonight... when it comes down to it, healing is truly the worst option, because the other option is paradise. Haha. Awesome - Oh Lord how true! I hope for no dreams that are my own creation because they are empty without you. My only idea of a happy and fulfilling life is one spent walking side by side with you on this WILD ADVENTURE! Bring on the adventure Lord!!

You have created me "for such a time as this.".. and I accept it and embrace it only in your strength.

I pray for protection from fear, self-awareness, pride, and believing any lies that the enemy will undoubtedly throw at me. I am yours, Lord. I am in the protection of your arms surrounded by angels. There's nowhere else I'd rather be. My heart is smiling! I love you!"

Oh sweet family of believers.... thank you for surrounding me.
Let me share a scripture that has been particularly encouraging to me...

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."
Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.
If you make the Most High your dwelling - even the Lord who is my refuge - then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent."

(this is where I like to exchange "he" for "she"... because it's fun:)

"Because she loves me," says the Lord,"I will rescue her; I will protect her, for she acknowledges my name. She will call upon me, and I will answer her; I will be with her in trouble, I will deliver her and honor her. With long life will I satisfy her and show her my salvation"

(and then I like to exchange "she" for "you" and say it again because it's downright awesome and gives me chills...:)

"Because you love me, says the Lord,
I will rescue you;
I will protect you, for you acknowledge my name.
You will call upon me, and I will answer you;
I will be with you in trouble,
I will deliver you and honor you.
With long life will I satisfy you
and show you my salvation."

Psalm 91

Thank you Jesus for your promises.

Big Hugs and Shiny Bald Heads,
Christina