dear jet lag, why do you hate me? or, because i have absolutely nothing else to do at 4am.

dear jet lag,

it is 4:37am and i am awake. i have been since 3:53am. this is not ok. why won't you let me sleep, jet lag? why do you insist on keeping my brain whirring with countless thoughts of all the things i need to be doing now that i am in california? are you trying to be helpful, jet lag? make sure i get everything done that needs to get done and don't forget the slightest little task?

and if you are trying to be helpful, oh jet lag, why do you make me so unproductive? why must i spend all day stumbling about in a hazy blur? don't you want me to spend time with my family and catch up with friends? or are you entertained when i say silly things and answer questions with ridiculous and nonsensical replies?

have you grown since you were last with me, jet lag? did you have a growth spurt? you seemed so much smaller last year, slightly annoying and inconvenient, but manageable. this year you are a force to be reckoned with. why are you trying to incapacitate me, jet lag?

i know you will be gone soon. i wish i could say i'll miss you.

dear fall, you have been lovely. or, why my blog has been silent for months.

i'm more than just a little embarrassed that my last post is dated august. i can't believe it's already december. the fall rushed by in a blur...

it's been a blur of laughter. of new friendships. of discovering old friends in new ways. of meals shared. of reunions. of goodbyes. of tiny cups of coffee and big mugs of tea. of countless hours spent digging into the Word with sweet friends. of cozy kitchens crammed with people. of screaming vikings. of runs in the park. of big events and tiny gatherings. of making music. of worship. of heated debates over glasses of wine. of tears. of new life. of honest conversation. of growth. of life shared in community.

i'm thankful.

August in France. Or, Why my brain is not yet back from holiday.

august in france is weird. the government must have socialized vacation as well as health care, because it seems like it's interdit to work during the month of august in france. the inhabitants of aix have fled the city and been replaced by hoards of tourists. i can't walk down the cours mirabeau without dodging a pack of japanese tourists trailing behind a woman holding an umbrella high in the air. so even though aix is crowded with people, the city has gone on vacation mode, so it feels like a ghost town. one of those ghost towns where tourists flock to take pictures of old buildings and imagine what the town was like in the days of yore, and vendors sell overpriced souvenirs and bottles of water marked up 300%.

i had a wonderful summer. it was exciting and action-packed, relaxing and refreshing, encouraging and inspiring. after two incredible weeks of camp, an iccp staff retreat to the alps, staff conference in hungary, and a vacation with friends in madrid, summer is winding down, and i'm ready. i'm ready to start planning and dreaming for the upcoming year. i'm ready for people to be around and things to be going on. i'm ready to embrace my new roles and job responsibilities. i'm ready to connect with people and be a part of their lives. i'm ready to grow and be stretched. i'm ready to see God work in big ways this year.

the only problem is that france is not ready. france will not be ready until september 1, the official date of "la rentrée" when everyone will return to work and school and normal life. and my brain, it seems, is so culturally adapted that it will not return to work mode until august is over. i'm ready to reengage, but my brain is still on vacation. so i'm not sure what to do: somehow trick my brain into thinking it's september and time to get movin', or just give in and let my brain have it's way with lazy mornings and afternoon naps?

Blast from the past. Or, I guess we've got a little Turtle Power here in our apartment.

Do you guys remember Pogs? They were a favorite of mine, and I think of every kid growing up in the late 80s/early 90s. Everyone would bring their Pog collection to school and every recess was spent playing and trading Pogs. Well, my cat just walked into the kitchen carrying a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pog in his mouth. Where on EARTH did that come from?!?!

A picture is worth a thousand words. Or, 2008: A Photo Essay.

i've finally uploaded a bunch of new pictures to my picasa album. you can now go see for yourself all the things i've been up to. photos include (but are not limited to) my band weatherbeat's concerts, the wedding of my teammate dominic and my former roommate hilary, easter festivities, and 2 weeks in the netherlands for training. click here to check it out!

tonight

Learning to put down roots. Or, Happy Anniversary apartment!

it's been exactly 1 year since i moved into my fantastic apartment on rue de l'opera. i realized that this is the longest i've lived in any one home since i moved out of my parents' house at 17. yes, the last 8 years have been divided between aix en provence, santa barbara, and thousand oaks, but i've been moving around within or between the three the entire time. i hadn't realized that my life was so transient.

it feels good to think that i'm finally starting to put down roots and settle down somewhere. but where i'm really settling down isn't necessarily aix en provence. i'm learning to settle down into God's will, learning to move with Him and plant my roots deeper into Him. it's a good place to be. it means that one year from now, i could be celebrating anniversary #2 in this apartment, or i could be anywhere else in the world. sure, i have plans and dreams about what i'll do, and where and when. but i love knowing that ultimately, my only plan is to serve my Lord, and i'll let Him determine exactly what that looks like. i'm part of a story that is so much bigger than myself. right now, at least, that means that the near and distant futures are more or less unknown, and i could end up, well, anywhere. right now, i really like it that way.